"Managing People with Morecrofts"

Snakes, elves, bananas, broken teddy bears and icebergs – Bizarre job vacancies

by Thomas Sutherland

Thomas Sutherland

I’m sure I wasn’t the only person shocked to read about the termination of Brendan Rogers’ contract as Liverpool manager yesterday.  Naturally, I wish him the best of luck in his future career and am sure he will lead his next football team to success.

However, the news did lead to me thinking about quirky and unusual job vacancies for those who want a completely different experience in their next job.  Now, naturally, I doubt Mr Rogers will be considering any of the jobs mentioned below but, for the rest of us, let’s consider some potential alternative career routes.

Whilst some jobs may sound tempting, I’m sure the majority will reinforce the good points about most readers current roles (especially if they aren’t keen on poisonous snakes!)

And just to confirm in advance, yes, these are real jobs and, no, there aren’t any red herrings thrown in to purposefully confuse people before confirming at the bottom that some of them are fake!  

Ever wished for a bit more peace and quiet around the office on a Monday morning?  Well, I’m sure the vacancy of Empty Office Minder would appeal!  Hopefully, the office won’t be minus a kettle so you can break up the day with the odd cuppa from time-to-time…

For those with a fondness for snakes, keep reading.  However, anyone who can’t stand the thought of having a poisonous snake near them might want to skip the description of Snake Milker.  Despite the odd title, this is a genuine role and involves removing venom from some of the world’s most poisonous snakes in order to produce life saving anti-venom.  Career-progression?  I would imagine it’s a story of snakes and (job) ladders…

Now for one that some people simply won’t believe.  Iceberg Mover.  Yes, Iceberg Mover!  Following the sinking of the Titanic, a group was formed to prevent a similar disaster and, should an iceberg block a shipping route, they sweep in and tow the iceberg out of the way!  Truly a job to put on the CV to break the ice in a future job interview…

It wouldn’t be a late year blog without a mention of Santa Claus (he’s warming up already!), who is apparently recruiting for some Strolling Elves to spread Christmas cheer far and near in one of the regional branches of his winter wonderland, otherwise known as a grotto!

Just to give this an international element, I’ve read reports of the role of Professional Cuddler being mildly lucrative in the USA.  However, if that doesn’t tickle your fancy, another stateside job role which is more likely to appeal to Brits is the career of Professional Queuer.  As you imagine, this basically entails you being paid to queue on behalf of someone else and is popular for big technology launches and Christmas sales! 

From time-to-time, people confide in their friends that their job is driving them bananas – well, spare a thought for professional Banana Ripeners, whose sole role is to ensure the bananas are sufficiently ripe for sale.  And, for those fed up of surfing the web, they could surf with dogs instead as a Dog Surfing Instructor (yes, honestly!)

And finally, my two personal favourites due to a mixture of summer holiday memories and childhood nostalgia – Waterslide Tester and Teddy Bear Repair Technicians.  The first being perfect for those wanting to end each workday with a splash and the second being for those hoping to rekindle life in a bear for whom life (or, more likely, a small child) has knocked the stuffing out of them!

Naturally, it is always important to remember that, however unusual your job, you are entitled to the same employment law rights whether working with bananas, poisonous snakes or Snuggles the broken teddy bear…

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